A Few Lessons about that thing we call LIFE

One of my goals for coming on this trip I have to admit were a little selfish. Don't get me wrong- the major goal was to help people in need and do a good service (of course)- but really I wanted to grow and learn and do a good service within myself. Is that such a bad outlook to have?

I was eating brunch by myself the other day, enjoying a nice, smooth, cheap cafe latte, when my mind started wandering. I thought I might share a few lessons I realized while I was contemplating life and writing in my journal. The following may place me in a little area of vulnerability, but hey- I am feeling compelled to share. So, here they are:

1) LIVE SIMPLY and aim to be a little less selfish (note above opening paragraph)- I am the first to admit that I have a tendency to be selfish. Sometimes I am quick to speak, without thinking, and it offends people I love. Sometimes I put myself way before others I care about. Every once in a while, I choose to do something that benefits no one but myself. I think everyone does these things from time to time. And you may have your own personal interpretations of how you are 'selfish'. Some, depending on their background, may feel selfishness is one key to survival. I aim to be more self-less, one key adjective that perfectly describes my mother. I am not necessarily talking about material things, that is not my business. I am talking about small acts of kindness, big gestures of compassion and an overall sense of living for others. That is my big life changing realization. And I know it will take some work, but I really believe I can do it. It is a tough balance, I think- to be self-less without taking good care of yourself, but with a little soul searching, deep thinking, and focused acting, anyone can be sure to accomplish.

2) A wise, famous Tibetan Monk once said that the purpose of life was to achieve happiness. I couldn't agree more. Do what makes you happy and make that your priority, mixing in compassion for others in there. What makes me happy is making a child laugh, even if I have to tickle them to do so. I am happy when I feel myself making a difference, even if its a small, untangible one. I am happy to know I make other people happy. When I feel I have completed more than my to-do list, I feel accomplished and therefore a sense of happiness. Traveling the world and exploring people and places makes me happy. There is a long list that brings me happiness, and I think one important facet of life is discovering that. What REALLY makes you happy? I have uncovered some things that I never thought about makes me happy- we can discuss over a cup of coffee one day.

3)While in Nepal, I learned a different sense of the word FAMILY. You will always hear me say how lucky I was to be brought up in such an unconditionally loving family. I never went a day without hugging, kissing or being told I love you from my family members. We were and remain incredibly close. My brother, mother and father are my best friends. Its such a neat connection. But when I came to Nepal I was blown away by my Host family, and their genuine love for me. I couldn't believe how nice they were, how they treated me with respect- even though I was different, and how they relied on eachother and the simplicity of their life to make them happy. I could talk for days about them. When we live in a world that is so quick to judge others based on anything that is different (religion, race, disability, education level, sexuality, political views- to only name a few), it is such a breath of fresh air to see people from across the world living in opposite of this stereotype.

These are just my initial interpretations of my trip. I am sure, as I decompress and really have some time to think, I will realize a little later even more things I have learned. For now, I feel really amazing and accomplished and adjusted to my new sense of self.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
J

Going up, up, up

Today was the day after an innocent man was beaten to death by Nepalese police. Who knows why? I think because the new prime minister has been elected, that the police are trying to send a message to anyone who deviates from the law. This man failed to stop at the police line (maybe 3-4 feet further, the newspaper said) and the police didn't stop beating him until he was dead and they transported him to Patan Hospital- where medical staff denied treatement stating the patient was already dead. Anyways, that is not a so-nice story but wanted to give you the reason for today. Because of this incident, the Kathmandu Valley was closed. That meant that we couldn't take Manisha to the doctor (she has a urinary infection) because all of the taxis and buses were on strike. It also meant that school was closed and the children could enjoy a Holy Day. I had been thinking for a while that before I left I wanted to take ALL of the children up to the Temple because of the whirlwinded success of taking them up on the terrace.
I went to the market and on a whim bought a handful of apples and bananas for the children to enjoy as a snack. I never really see them eating fruit so I thought it would be a nice treat. And, they loved eating the cut-up pieces of fruit. They even were polite to each other and only took one piece at a time, passing the plate to their brother or sister next to them. We mentioned a couple of the older children that we were going to take EVERYONE up to the Temple, but not until later in the afternoon. Well, word traveled fast and before I knew it I had children grabbing my legs, hugging me from behind and jumping up and down in front of me as if to say "Oh my goodness, we are going UP! Let's go NOW!!!!!" Well, how could we say no to all of this excitement? It is the most energy I have seen in these kids since I have been here.
We got Kamal, Anjana and Manisha ready and braced ourselves for what we were about to experience. Promod grabbed the back of Kamal's chair, and Galchan took hold of Manisha and Anjana. (They can share one wheelchair because Anjana is so tiny) We started with our normal Morning Walk Route. I could sense the enthusiasm coming out of Kamal's bright whites. He was in heaven thinking about what he could see. There are many ways to go up to the temple. 99% of the ways are via steps. There was no way we could carry these children and their wheelchairs up 365 steps, so luckily Galchan knew a side road. We ventured up this road, continually dodging motorbikes and pot-holes. Kamal's wheel came off of his wheelchair 8 times during our trip, holding us back about 15 minutes total. But that was okay. I was so impressed with the shear strength that Promod and Galchan took to push these kids up this steep road- all for a common goal. The kids wanted to see Kamal, Anjana and Manisha go up to the temple just as much as they did on their own. It was so cute to see the kids checking on K, A, and M throughout the journey. I tell you, it was amazing. When we finally reached the top, we stopped at the World Peace Pond. And the view of the valley was priceless. We all relaxed a bit and enjoyed seeing the kids finally able to SEE what all the others can see every day.
I am so thankful for this memory and really hope these kids can hold this day in their heart for a long time.

Money is Small thing and Love is a Big Thing

I have been so fortunate in life to be surrounded by some really neat people that have had a profound affect on my life and Nepal has been no deviation from history. My Ama is very wise and always has something to say worth noting. Yesterday, we were eating daal bhat and discussing money, traveling, helping people, Sita wanting to study abroad and not having enough money, school children asking us for 5 rupees, (randomly) etc. Sita had just returned from bringing vegetables to her neighbor. I asked her why (knowing its not like they have a lot of extra vegetables to be giving) and she responded "because we like to help people- it makes us feel GOOD". (with emphasis) Then the topic of conversation turned to money and in particular the fact that none of us had any. I told Sita I couldn't wait to see financial success and security and that I was determined to do so asap. This topic rolled around a few times and then my big sister mentioned, almost out of the blue "Do not ever give us money. It is no good to us. All we need is your love, sister". I think she wanted to make a valid point that my money was no good to them because I was their family. Ama belted out a few minutes of Nepalese "Mother Talk". When she speaks, everyone listens. She is like the most feared and loved person in the house. I could understand the jist of what she was saying and the quote that will stick with me most is when she said "Money is a small thing, but love is a big thing". It was just a simple phrase that is one of the million reasons why I am the luckiest daughter in the world, both in Nepal and USA.

So, I may have mentioned this before... We have a beautiful 5 month old baby boy in the house. The first couple days I was here I asked my family what his name was, and they replied 'Babu". Um, excuse me. What? He doesn't have a name? Its been FIVE months! So, of course I half-jokingly told them he should be named an American name. Actually, the most loving name I could think of was JACK. My family looooved it. For the last 5 or 6 weeks Babu has been changed to Jack. That has been his name. Dibya even tells her neighbors that her baby brother's name is Jack. And when they ask why, she says that Jessi Didi loves my baby brother and she named him. (how cute?!) I didn't really think that the name would stick like that, but it did. Yesterday, Sita told me his name became officially Jack. I haven't seen the birth certificate or anything, but she said that they wanted him to remember his big sister, Jessi, always. She also said that when people ask "Who gave this boy an American name?" And now they can all respond "Jessi Didi" gave him the name. I am still in a little bit of shock and kept waiting for Sita to say "Jiskeko!" (just kidding!) But her face was as serious as it could be. Now the cutest baby in the world has the name of a man I call my hero, my father.

The children have been extra lovey-dovey this week. I couldn't be more happy about that! I think my affection has worn off on them, that Kamal even gave Don Dai (the first male volunteer) a kiss on the cheek! We sort of gently told them I was leaving yesterday. But I don't think it registered. The Dai wanted to tell them very gently (almost misleading-ly, against my request) because he was afraid of how they would react and not be able to concentrate on their exam coming up. So, I went with it. I leave tomorrow. I am sure there will be a couple of blogs regarding my last days. I will tell you next time about bringing all of the children, wheelchairs and all, up to the Swayambhu Temple. About 3000 calories burned later, the children were as happy as they could be. What a great activity to end my visit here. I will definitely write more details that are surely worth reading.

Time to play for my last evening- a mixture of emotions swirls through my heart.
Love,
J

This might change your life- cause mine did.

I left Swayambhu yesterday around 9:30 a.m. (just in time for my tofu dal bhaat, my FAVE!) and headed to Thamel for my weekly stay in civilization. Yesterday morning before I left, I took the children for their morning walk around the Temple. Anil and Dawa were being a little naughty and trying to push my buttons. They would lighly jog up ahead, make me worry, look back to see my experssion- and when they saw it was of disapproval (these kids are MY responsibility and what would I do if something happened to them??), they quickly returned to our single line. Oh- is this what raising kids is going to be like, Mommy??

Srijana (7 years old and has the body of a American 3 year old- so tiny) wanted to hold my hand the whole time. That is my girl right there. She has really started to open up and her personality has really begun to blossom. When she first came to the Home, she was extremely quiet and shy and so was her brother, Raju. Over the last 6 weeks I have seen such a transition. She is starting conversations, learning the English alphabet, and initiating singing songs (Ohm, Shanti, Ohm!!! -google it-). Her small village spoke their own dialect, so I think she was extra reserved when she first came a couple months ago. I can see her continue to develop and become into her own little person- very satisfying for me because she was actually one of my projects. I wasn't playing favorites, I don't think, I could just sense that she was one of the children that needed me the most. I feel accomplished.

Side note: Sita (my sister) teaches the children that could not register for school in time during the day. For the past couple of weeks, Sita has been buying the children little things- like biscuits, gum, small cars, tikkas etc. She will bring them things from home as well. Sita does not make a lot of money. Believe me, I live with her, I know what her resources are. In fact, Sita has not even been paid by Dai yet and she has been working for him for 6 weeks. Who knows? When I asked her about that, she explained that she understands the Dai has to feed the children and when he gets donor money, he will pay her. I thought about this for a little while. Is Sita doing these nice things because we (volunteers) bring the children weekly products like medicine, pencils, notebooks, etc from our supply room at the VSN office? I quickly retracted that thought (and even felt guilty) when she told me why she feels compelled:
"To me, these children are like my own brothers and sisters, same like Dibya. They have no mothers and fathers. Who will bring them these things? Who will bring them small things that bring big smiles? It makes me feel good to do nice things for them. I cannot do much hard work because of my disbility, but if I can do these small things and make them happy, then I have achieved my goal."
Her response definitely got me thinking about a lot of things in life. Maybe it will for you, too.

The other day I asked Kamal if he wanted to go 'mati' (up)? I have noticed that Kamal, Anjanna and Manisha cannot participate in morning walk (but it is just very difficult to bring their unstable wheelchairs outside to the rough terrain around the temple). When the children go upstairs on the terrace and run around, all those three children can do is hear their footsteps. I do not even want to know what their brains are doing and hearts are feeling. When I asked Kamal to go up, his smile got 10 times brighter and he paused the normal 2-3 seconds before answering (as if to formulate the words from his brain to his mouth) and excitedly belted "Yeah!". I carried him like a young child with his body facing mine and his chin resting on my shoulder. He gave me 6 kisses on the cheek before we reached the top (I started giving him kisses on the cheek when I first got to the home, and he responded with such a genuine affection, I make it a daily habit now). When we got to the terrace, some of the kids yelled DIDI!! and motioned me to bring Kamal to them. They were so excited to see their brother participating with their daily regimen of playing on the terrace. I rested Kamal on my lap so we could avoid him possibly falling on the hard concrete (very little body control). I heard Kamal say "Ama" and with his crinkled upper limb, stuck in elbow flexion, he pointed to my left. I saw Ama looking and smiling up at us and remembered what she once told me about Kamal. (Translated by Sita):
"Do nice things for Kamal- make him better- give him strength and confidence to walk- And God will look after you for the rest of your life"
Ama really loves Kamal- he is such a special little man- and her words have just plain STUCK.

Kamal had a smile from ear to ear. Eventually, Anjanna made it up compliments of Dawa. She is much smaller and easier to carry. Dawa rested her on the balcony (it is very wide) and she started pointing and screaming with big smiles everything she never had the opportunity to see. From the terrace, you can see the road I walk on and never considered to be special. I walk on it every single day. I mean, its just a road. This road is full of people, taxis, monkeys, dirt, cement drop-offs, and is the same type of road you see all over KTM. I never looked at this road like Anjanna and Kamal did that day. To these kids it was more than a road- it was a land they considered unknown- a special land that if they could walk by themselves that they could explore and be considered "normal". I will never forget the expressions on their faces that early evening. Anjanna would point and tap me on the shoulder every little thing she saw, like I had never seen it before. But when she did this, I saw a different side of the road. I saw a different part of life. It really brought some depth to my frame of mind. Kamal would whisper into my ear everything he noticed about the road that I suddenly noticed as well. (A kite, the peacock that lives next door, a woman wearing a saari with sparkles, a baby monkey hanging on for dear life to its mother). I think we will go mati every day now until I leave.

I spent my morning at a restaurant called OR2K. www.or2k.com
My new favorite place in Thamel. And if you are planning a trip here, you must come in for its fresh mint lemon tea and fruit salad.

I keep thinking about how these kids have changed my life. I am a better person because of them.

Hope you liked my story.

Love,
J

My Week So Far......

I returned home from Pokhara last Thursday night, a little later than I expected. The rafting trip was so cool. It was like we were rafting through the Amazon rain forrest, the view was so perfect. I have never seen anything like it, even in pictures. I so wish my camera was waterproof! We rafted down the Tisuli river, and apparently during monson season it is the best time to do so. What I didn't realize was WHERE we were rafting... all the way to Chitwan! So when we got off at the stopping point, we still had a 4-5 hour bus ride back to Kathmandu. Oops. And with the local bus diminished speed, a few traffic jams here and there and one too many stops along the way put our time of arrival back in KTM at 8:30 p.m., 6 hours later than I originally thought! Oh well, seeing those waterfalls and greenery were well worth it.
Friday was the day we took thethree disabled chidren to the specialty hospital for an assessment on their physical therapy regimen. Dai and took the 3 of them in a taxi and it was their first taxi ride EVER! That was so fun! I put Kami (He has CP) in my lap because he has very little control over his head and body and the roads in KTM are too bumpy for him to ride alone. He smiled the whole way!!
The all-day marathon therapy session was well worth it, in my opinion. I am anxious to get this therapy notebook under way for future volunteers working in the home. I felt we got to a very good start and was extremely happy with the assessment and exercise plan. yay!
That night was Christine and Latissa's last night in Thamel so we had a volunteer dinner planned to celebrate and say our good-byes. Earlier that week when I had told Sita of my plans to go to Thamel, I could see her face light up in excitement. I am not sure she ever gets to go to Thamel due to her difficulty in getting around and just the Nepali culture here- people tend not to venture off unless going to see family members. So, I invited her to come with me and her face got even brighter. I wasn't exactly sure how Sita would act around a bunch of foreigners, who tend to be a lot crazier than your traditional Nepali- but I didn't care. If I could take Sita to Thamel and make sure she had a good time, then it was all worth it to me. And she did and that is all she talked about for the next day or two. Mission accomplished. :) She even commented that 'Tonight, I am same like tourist' Hilarious!
The next day was Saturday, our favorite day with the children because its their 'holy day' and the day they bathe, clean, play, and nap. Its a lot of fun because we feel we don't have to be so focused on school stuff. The kids get a break from the normal stresses of school and we get to make crafts and play red rover and be kids again ourselves. This Saturday was a little special because it was the Saturday before a big Festival here in Nepal. Translation: a FANTASTIC day to make a day trip to the Market. Ama and Sita would not take no for an answer and invited us to the Market with them. P and I thought it was the small market around the corner, but no it sure wasn't. We hopped on a Tempo bus and traveled all the way to Durbar Square... oops. Four or Five hours later we were making our way back to the children, exhausted from a day of dodging people, bargaining, and enduring the heat. All well worth it though.
I made my way to Thamel on Sunday, the 31st because it was our monthly volunteer dinner. All the new volunteers are here for the start of the 1st of every month, so it is a good way to meet and greet and relax together outside of placement. I spent the night in Thamel Sunday night and went to the VSN office to do some work and pick up necessary materials and medication for the home. I had a very productive day and felt good about it.
That night I felt a nasty sickness come on full of vomitting and a horrific stomach ache. I have had it for 3 days now and all I want is to eat a meal and not picture what it would look like 3-4 hours later. Have no worries, Ama and Ba are waiting on me hand and foot. They even heard me get up at 3 and 4 a.m. this morning and woke up with me, held my hair, and then tucked me back into bed. Ama made me this really disgusting tea/medicine this morning that my stomach just couldn't handle. But at least she is trying to feed me homeopathic medicine!
Keep your fingers crossed for a full recovery sooner than later :)

I leave the home on the 14th and will have a couple days in Thamel before my flight to Tokyo. I am going to be extra sad to leave this place that I have genuinely been able to call home.

Love
J

Thinking about writing a book- wanna help?

The thought has crossed my mind to write a book, accurately depicting my experience as a volunteer in Nepal. I have seen many things, so many different things here in this country that I think it would be an amazing thing to get it all down on paper. I am not exactly sure how to really write a book because I have never done anything like it before. All I know is I have almost finished one journal and need to get another. I could write it from the basis of a VSN volunteer, talk about my experiences working with this company, the home, Thamel, my hospital experience and everything else. I would need a professional to get the ball rolling so if you know of anyone or are interested- let me know! I am so intrigued with the people, culture, and scenery, that I think I could really paint a cool picture. But obviously not alone. I would sell the book and donate at least half of proceeds to VSN..... Just a beginning thought. Who knows what will happen!!?/

A pretty peacefull place called Pokhara...

Well, I made it here to Pokhara on Monday afternoon. The bus ride from Kathmandu was lengthy, curvy, hilly, bumpy- but well worth it. I am taller than 80% of the population here and buses are not made for tourists, even if they are labled so. I felt like I needed the exit row or something on this bus!

I was greeted at the tourist bus station in Poh by a man holding the Hotel Grand Holiday sign, so I knew he was the right guy. Just like getting out of the airport in KTM, you have many taxi drivers anxious to take you to your destination. It can be overwhelming, but thank goodness this man, Janauk, knew my name and what I might look like. He took me to the Hotel on a motorbike, my first ride while in Nepal. It was fun, yet a little scary because I wasn't wearing a helmet! (living life on the edge, baby).

As we pulled up to the Hotel, I was immediately greeted by Uzie's older brother who is the owner of this hotel. He was extremely enthusiastic, yelled my name, called me sister, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I love Pokhara!! He quickly took my bags and showed me to my room. Dai made sure I knew that anything, he meant ANYTHING, I needed that he would help me take care of. That is one of the best things I have found in Nepal: genuine, caring, GOOD people. I wanted to waste zero time, so I dropped my bag in the hotel and set off for some city exploring. Pokhara is a much smaller version of Thamel, if it can even be compared. Tourism is big here, made obvious by the numerous shops, restaurants and taxis along the main strip. But the biggest thing I noticed was Pokhara is much cleaner and has less begging or people pushing to sell you things. Ahh, a much needed breath of fresh air.

I stopped at an internet cafe and was shocked at how high the prices were. 60 rupees an hour for internet? That is ludicrous, but I got suckered in. There, I met a German girl also traveling alone named Shenya (prounounced "Jen-ya") and we decided to hang out for the day. We browsed the shops and sat for dinner at the first restaurant sign we saw "Continental food served here". The weather had been beautiful and sunny all day until we decided to leave dinner, and then the clouds opened up hard core. It rained for 24 hours straight accompanied with thunder and lightning. This unexpected weather change definitely put a damper on our bike ride and hiking trek we had planned together for the next couple days.

The next morning I planned a yoga and meditation course. This four hour course was held in a Buddhist man's home. Quite interesting. There was one other older gentleman from Italy that took the course with me. We practiced meditation that I had no idea what I was doing and yoga moves that made me so sore the next day. I told Max that we are definitely doing yoga together when I get back to Atlanta because it did bring a special air about me when I was done.

That afternoon I decided to indulge in a massage that the Dai made a special deal for me. The woman, she was actually the wife of the Buddhist yoga instructor, came to my hotel room. This is a story in and of itself that only a special audience will be lucky enough to hear....

That evening I met up with Shenya and an English boy named Marcus who she had met along the street. You never know who you are going to meet. He has been living in Tokyo for the past 4 years so we had some things to talk about. We had a good time, ate some dinner, met some funny Scottish trekers, and I was home by 10 p.m., still dodging rain bullets.

This morning was our hike up one of the nearby hilltops/mountains. We went with a Chinese couple who were really sweet. Our guide took us first on a canoe to the base of the mountain. That was such a peaceful, smooth ride. We reached the base ready to sweat, and we definitely accomplished our goal. The 4 of us followed our guide, who was traveling at a decent pace. To go up the mountain, we had numerous steps made of rocks, so it wasn't just a hill going upwards. This trek put the Swayambhu temple steps to shame. It took us a good hour to get to the top and by that time our clothes were drenched with sweat, not rain. Unfortunately, the weather was cloudy and we could not see Mount Annapurna.... That was a dissapointment, but at least we got to see a nice view of the Pokhara valley. We headed back south looking for our next points of attractions: the Cave and the Waterfall. Pictures to come soon.

Its time to leave for 'reality' tomorrow. This has been a very nice few days of relaxation and Jessi time, but there is still much work to do at the Children's Home. I leave tomorrow on a tourist bus that will drive 3 hours, stop along a river and then we white water raft for 3 hours on the way to KTM. I figured I needed one more bout of excitement!!

On Friday, we are taking the 3 disabled children to the specialized hospital for an update on their progress and physical therapy. I am looking forward to this all-day event and making the physio notebook so that is much easier for future volunteers working in this home.

Much love to all,
I can't believe my trip is more than half-way over.
Jessi :)